Conversation with Kadri Helde (neiuhelde) - Images from the foundry of the soul

The calm natural surroundings of the countryside near Tallinn provide an inspiring background for the emotional and physical wanderings of Kadri. Although she is a curious observer of every sort of things and people, her experiences do not occur directly in her artwork but filtered and processed until they take shape. In this interview Kadri also talks about her studies and her dreams concerning her future.

custos I wonder about your earlier works - often provocative but artistically very strong and sometimes also humorous - and ask why they were so. Was it the result of a bad phase in your life?

neiuhelde I must take a trip to the past to answer this question. I was caught by depression at a very young age. There was a time I couldn´t get in contact with people at all and drawing was the only way of communication for me. I suppose I had to entertain myself and others at that point. Through time I had found comfort and support in my creation.

custos On the other hand, you have a few beautiful cityscapes of Tallinn - are you also in general an "observer" of places and architecture?

neiuhelde These cityscapes were an assignment at the university I´m studying at now, the first and the last ones in this genre but for me it isn´t the right time yet to continue this path. However, I must admit I do observe everything in my surroundings, not only people but also architecture and nature.

custos What do you do in the everydays?

neiuhelde I am studying at the Estonian Academy of Arts at the faculty of painting; I'm completing my bachelor´s degree. I hope to finish this year so that afterwards I could go to the open world to discover myself. I believe there is still much to learn, more inspiration to gather for the future. This is one of my dreams. Mostly my days are spent at the university but I also love being in nature. I live close to the forest and sea so usually at the weekends I go to the beach, just to sit there and collect ideas. The peace there inspires me the most but also the colours and textures, the whole local character. Estonia is a very lovely and simple country, there are very magical countrysides and islands. A lot of forests, coastal junipers. Obviously, here we can say that in simplicity lies the charm.

custos What is it like spending your time and studying at the Academy? Do you have nice friends, colleagues there? And what about teachers and what they can offer to you?

neiuhelde The time at the Academy has raised me very much, made me stronger. Sometimes I run empty but then I remember what it felt like when I received the letter that I was accepted to the Academy and that gives me strength to go forward. Schoolmates' works are discouraging sometimes but also inspiring. I guess it is the perfect place where you can learn much from each other. The school is located in Tallinn´s Old Town in a cozy environment, although to get there you have to conquer a quite large number of stairs. A toilsome journey but worth every breath, the view is amazing. I have wonderful classmates, everyone is different and they all have their own characters. I enjoy the differences, that means their works have also a very diverse nature, it makes the evaluations very interesting, like at an exhibition. The faculty is very supportive, consisting of many well known and talented artists, they change but everyone of them is able to leave their mark.

custos Recently you've created "foggy," gentle and emotional paintings with warm colours, differing from the earlier ones - but one can find the transition from them. Are there any old masters or contemporary painters who have inspired you in these changes of style?

neiuhelde Perhaps only subconsciously. I believe that if something is needed to direct or inspire me, it will happen in it´s own time. I respect all people who create with their whole spirit and heart, so there can be many influences. I look, I feel, I embrace and go on. I try not to watch outwards but rather inwards, and from there I look forward. When I start to compare my work with others', I often get to an inferiority complex and then it is pretty complicated to open myself for creation again. I prefer creating from my heart without thinking, my art was born from myself, looking out from my inner world.

custos Do you already have an idea what your diploma work is going to be?

neiuhelde I try not to think too much ahead; it seems I´m more and more inclined to explore the spiritual world or psychology in general or any of these topics. However, I don't know yet were the ideas will take me with time. I am trying to follow my intuition and it is more likely that I tend to get it at the last minute.

custos Where would you prefer to go after finishing at the Academy?

neiuhelde I think I would prefer to travel to a very exotic location, a completely different environment, although the destination is not quite clear yet. I will see what life has to offer me.